Are You "Sandwiched" With the Invisible Mental Load?
Written by: Yu Ming O'Neil, Sparkle Wellness Co-Founder
As a female wellness founder, I often think about what drew me to do what I do every day, and it’s absolutely my calling to support women and their well-being. From day one, I wanted my brand to be something that women could rely on for simple and effective solutions that also spoke to them about solving the real issues that bothered them. Solutions that truly moved the needle every day, without having to overthink them, and that could fit into anyone’s lifestyle easily. I truly believe the most impactful change you can make stems from small daily actions and not big, dramatic changes.
The Midlife Squeeze: Inside the "Sandwich Generation"
Now that I’m in the thick of perimenopause, I also spend a lot of time thinking about where women are not being supported enough and nowhere is that more evident than in midlife, or the "sandwich generation" — it’s that stretch where you are simultaneously managing older kids or teenagers (they don’t take your advice), aging parents who also feel like they are reverting to more childlike ways in old age (they, too, also don’t take your advice very kindly at all), peak career responsibilities, increasing financial pressure of the people you are caring for, and somehow yourself, too. Whoo, that’s a lot.
I read a recent report from Cleo that puts data to something many of us either feel personally or are witnessing in those close to us. 64 percent of women in the sandwich generation say they are at a breaking point with "escalating mental health strain, higher health care costs, productivity loss and attrition."
Among women aged 40 to 54, nearly half are at the highest risk of burnout, marked not just by fatigue, but by measurable declines in health, self-care and mental well-being.
The Invisible Toll: The Physical and Mental Cost
This invisible mental load of caregiving for all those around us with competing demands is silently taking a toll on our bodies and mental health, with chronically high cortisol levels, nervous system dysregulation, disrupted sleep, metabolic imbalance, mood fluctuations and insulin resistance, on top of what feels like skyrocketing levels of anxiety and stress.
Not only that, perimenopause and menopause are reshaping our biology — shifting metabolism, stress resilience cracks, heavy cognitive load are all happening at once and finding energy to stay afloat seems ever elusive. It’s a stage in a woman’s life where everything is changing and colliding at the same time.
It gives way to a type of exhaustion that creeps up on you while you’re holding so much for everyone in your life. As I’ve experienced it myself, you tend to dig in deeper and try to do more and squeeze everything in. Yet the juggling of so many balls can only be sustained for so long, and when things slip, the self-blaming and guilt set in. Sound familiar? I’ve been there more times than I can count, and you know what? It doesn’t have to be this way.
Shifting the Narrative
I’ve learned to say "no" more often and to recognize my own limits, and that has felt freeing. I can totally relate to women who say midlife is their DGAF era, and I feel that more and more in my bones because you need to protect your mental capacity, and that means giving priority to what truly matters — and it starts from having good health and well-being. If you are not healthy and well, you can’t function properly as a human being, let alone be a good mom or an effective leader or a compassionate partner.
It is precisely this intersection of biology and the invisible mental load that fascinates me and is igniting a culture change, in behaviors, in attitudes, in understanding what healthy boundaries are, asking more of our partners, walking out of toxic patterns and relationships and acknowledging women don’t have to suffer in silence through this major hormonal and physiological transition that is the essence of perimenopause and menopause.
And the simple recognition that no one individual can shoulder it all.
What becomes clear is that supporting women in this stage of life starts with focusing on the foundations that truly influence how we feel day to day. Sleep is what makes us feel good, as it is the anchor on which our mental clarity strengthens and increases our capacity to deal with daily stresses. Blood glucose stability underpins energy, mood and cognitive clarity. And sustained energy is really what women are truly looking for so they feel like they can end the day with ease and satisfaction, instead of feeling beaten down and fatigued.
In a life stage that can feel complex and overwhelming, the approach to wellness needs to be the opposite — simple, supportive and sustainable. The most effective solutions are often the ones that integrate seamlessly into daily life, without having to overthink them. It’s the small, consistent actions repeated over time that create meaningful and lasting change.
Midlife is not a stage to be survived, but one to be supported through with intention. When women are equipped with the right tools, knowledge and boundaries, this chapter can feel less like something to push through and more like an opportunity to recalibrate and move forward with clarity, strength and a deeper sense of control.
Updated May 1, 2026
Yu Ming O’Neil is the co-CEO and co-founder of Sparkle Wellness, a modern female wellness brand grounded in a simple but powerful mission: to help women feel good and be well.
With a background in women’s magazine journalism, Yu Ming dived headfirst into e-commerce with a humble blog shop in 2008, then officially launched Sparkle Wellness in 2014 and grew it into what it is today as a multimillion-dollar wellness brand. A storyteller, an entrepreneur and a wellness advocate, she is driven by curiosity and a desire to challenge the status quo by constantly seeking better, more meaningful ways to support women in their everyday lives.
Yu Ming is passionate about empowering women with knowledge, evidence-based solutions and the confidence to take charge of their health.
